“Instruments of destruction
Tools of foul play
It’s a violent eruption
Existence drips away”
~ ‘Instruments of Destruction’, by NRG
from the soundtrack to “Transformers: The Movie” 1986
For the last two weeks, I’ve been regaling you, dear reader, with the ups and downs and goods and bads of director Michael Bay’s trilogy of Transformers films which started in 2007 and were completed earlier this year. This week as last week, I need to give the familiar warning that what follows may contain elements of plot, story and character that may spoil the viewing experience if you haven’t seen the movies yet. So, again, I utter those vaguely silly words…
SPOILER ALERT!! SPOILER ALERT!! SPOILER ALERT!!
Michael Bay has never been one for bringing fully realised characters on screen. It is fortuitous, perhaps, that the robotic casts that litter the Transformers mythology boast rich histories in both cartoons and comic books. The first of the characters created in 1984 were given much of their character traits via the “Tech Specs” mini-biographies attached to each of the original toys, courtesy of Bud Budiansky, a comic book writer and artist who also wrote the vast majority of the initial Marvel Comics series. Budiansky was, along with Bay and the movie trilogy’s Executive Producer Steven Spielberg, one of the non-fictitious inductees into toy-maker Hasbro’s first ever Transformers Hall of Fame in 2010.
Nevertheless, Bay does fumble the ball with his players. I expect that Bay doesn’t put nearly as much import on character as much as visual spectacle, assuming that his target audience is likely made up of young boys who are not particularly demanding of such things as proper story arcs or character development. Bay does frame his movies around such human touchstones as a boy getting his first car (Transformers, 2007), leaving home to go to college (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, 2009) and a young man getting his first job (Transformers: Dark of the Moon, 2011), via the passage of his main human character Sam Witwicky (played competently in all three films by Shia LeBeouf). Since Bay made the decision to view the robot action through the prism of human experience (a decision as much about budgetary constraints as creative integrity), and imbued the warring robot factions with a degree of character and individual motivations, the criticism of his inability to fully realise the character’s personalities in a logical and consistent way is a valid one. This is, as I’ve mentioned previously, despite the fundamental nature of the Transformers universe.
Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, has always been the most noble of all Transformers. During the course of the films he makes clear a philosophy he has carried in numerous iterations of the Transformers - and notably his ‘motto’ as described on his Generation One toy’s Tech Specs - “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings”. Prime actually utters this exact phrase during the first movie, although it seems shoe-horned into an ill-fitting place within the context in the story. One imagines Bay shoving it in as a way to throw a bone to long term fans, without any intention to actually have Prime behave in a way consistent with this credo. Indeed, rather than Prime being the reluctant warrior who kills only when it is the only recourse available (such as in the opening scenes of T:ROTF, when he takes down Demolishor during a particularly destructive romp through Shanghai), Prime says “We will kill them all” at the beginning of the final battle in Chicago in T:DOTM. Bloodthirsty is not a trait loyal fans associate with Optimus, and yet he executes his traitorous predecessor, Sentinel Prime, following Sentinel’s weakened and helpless state after a brutal fight with Megatron. Sentinel Prime pleads with him before Optimus delivers the coup de grace.
There are clever nods to geeks everywhere early in T:DOTM where Sam’s mini-Autobot ‘pets’ Wheelie and Brains are watching a rerun of the original Star Trek, specifically an episode where Spock goes crazy, foreshadowing Sentinel Prime’s betrayal of the Autobot’s cause (Sentinel Prime of course being given voice by Leonard Nimoy). That is, it would have been clever had the Bay not felt it necessary to actually spell it out as exactly that. It’s not an Easter Egg hunt if someone is hurling the eggs at your head just in case you can’t find them yourself. It’s not nearly the only example of a script that tends to belt you over the head like a blunt instrument. The jokes are much the same. Profane, leg-humping robots and Sam’s mother getting herself high on hash cookies are about as highbrow as it gets. This is even more annoying considering that following T:ROTF, Bay specifically apologised for what he called ‘corny humour’ and assured moviegoers that this would not be repeated in T:DOTM. He lied.
More troubling than inconsistent characters and awkward humour are the personalities provided to the Autobot ‘twins’ Skids and Mudflap, in T:ROTF. They speak in what is clearly intended to be an African-American vernacular, and are unfortunately given traits that reflect the most appalling of racial stereotypes; fighting amongst themselves, admitting a lack of intelligence, even at one point revealing that they “can’t read” a form of Cybertronian script. Supposedly intelligent characters such as Ratchet and the stuffy Que are given clipped British tones. The red Ferrari Dino is, of course, given a broad Italian brogue. Using accents and racial stereotypes as a way of delineating character has never been so clumsy since George Lucas gave the crafty and deceptive trade emissaries Asian accents and made the laid-back but dim-witted Gungans Rastafarian in Star Wars Ep1: The Phantom Menace. Neither has it been quite so ugly.
I’m also somewhat uncomfortable with Bay’s treatment of women. While Megan Fox filled the role of female lead in the first two films, she was fired from T:DOTM for publicly comparing Bay to a Nazi in relation to his fierce work ethic and demeanour on-set, which understandably did not go down well at all with the Jewish Spielberg. One would assume that being fired was probably enough punishment for a twenty-four-year-old actress who was likely hired for her appearance rather than acting chops, but Bay was not content leaving it at that. He saw fit to include thinly-veiled and dismissive insults towards Fox’s character in the script for T:DOTM that were clearly aimed at Fox herself. I If I were Fox, I’d probably be more insulted by the fact that she was replaced by a Victoria’s Secret model without a single acting credit to her name. Her replacement, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, doesn’t get much of run in T:DOTM either. Aside from a brief moment of clumsy deus ex machina in the final act of the film, she is essentially playing the role of over-sexualised eye candy. The very first shot of Huntington-Whiteley in the film is a lingering full-screen shot of her barely-clad derrière (in eye-popping 3D no less!) as she climbs a staircase. Also early in the film, LaBeouf’s on-screen mother, played by Julie White, is heard referring to a package containing a medal that LaBeouf’s character has been given with the comment “Nice box!”, just as she passes Huntington-Whiteley. Perhaps Bay did Fox a favour.
Of the remaining human actors, Bay has assembled an impressive cast, with numerous highly respected thespians among them. Sadly, very few of them impress in these movies, with John Turturro, Jon Voight, John Malkovich, Kevin Dunn and the aforementioned White giving over-the-top and ludicrously ham-fisted performances. Turturro, who is capable of both great pathos and great comedy, is nothing short of embarrassing. Voight simply looks like he wandered onto the wrong film set and is making the most of it. The less said about Malkovich the better. Did he lose a bet?
Much better are LaBeouf, Frances McDormand, and the wonderful (oh, so wonderful) Alan Tudyk. Tudyk in particular, manages some impressive action without taking himself (and the franchise) too seriously, courtesy of his impeccable sense of comic and dramatic timing. He is horribly underutilised, and it is an enormous shame he appears in a handful of scenes and only in the final film. Can you imagine how much better he would have performed in Turturro’s role as Agent Simmons in all three films? What a waste.
If only Michael Bay had cast his roles better. If only Bay had spent a larger proportion of his considerable resources on developing his script and story further (especially the mess that is T:ROTF). If only… if only. The movies are without question spectacular. Absolutely spectacular. But they could have been so much more. It’s likely that I would not have taken all of this nearly so seriously if it wasn’t for the fact that Bay was strip-mining a childhood love of mine. In recent weeks, T:DOTM surpassed the US$1B in worldwide box office receipts, making it the 5th highest money earner (not adjusted for inflation) in the history of cinema*. This reality means that despite the fact that Bay and LeBeouf have both reportedly said they will not be back for any further sequels (to say nothing of the fact that major characters in Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, Sentinel Prime, Ironhide and Jetfire have all shuffled of to that scrapyard in the sky by the end of T:DOTM), there can be no doubt that film studios will be back at this particular well soon enough.
* Following Avatar, Titanic, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2, and Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. It’s only US$47M behind LOTR:ROTK, so 4th place is only a matter of time.
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